February reading - Kristie

Reading the Purpose Driven Youth Ministry book does not scare me in fact I am excited to become a better youth sponsor. But, this is what scares me - the blogging - putting my thoughts, fears, weaknesses and lessons learned into type. It is the ‘letting myself be transparent and exposed’. Sharing my fears -we all have fears it is part of being human but do we really know each others and do we want others to know our fears; or sharing my faults and weaknesses, again we all have them; but once you write them down they become ‘in your face fact’ and a lot harder to ignore. I have never been one of many words and even less so when it comes to writing or journaling. However, I pray that God helps me to be transparent in this adventure so that I may become a better servant for Him. If the rest of this book knocks on my heart like this first chapter did, then I have a long way to go and many tears to shed. But I am willing so that the end result is a better me.

• “In the long run, health is more attractive than hype.” When I read this statement; I agreed with it. It only makes sense, it is obvious. But yet this statement tugged at my heart and thoughts. Because I have to admit I tend to lean towards hype over health. It is the doing what ‘I’ can do, instead of what God wants us to do. Thinking about games, concerts, lock-ins, camps and conventions. Do I try to keep busy doing the work of God instead of being a woman of God first and foremost? I naturally want to say no; but, I know that I don’t spend time in the Word like I should and I don’t find myself in a ‘prayer closet’ like I should be. And even as I write this my mind wanders to the upcoming lock-in. So this chapter has been one of self-evaluation.
• I consider myself to have a servants heart and I (especially if I lived in Yankton) would be at every youth event we had - the xtreme study halls, mentoring, drama practice, game and movie nights - making myself more available to the youth and PR. Sometimes I find myself discouraged because I am not at more of the events. So when I read Doug Fields’ personal message (pg 37) “… Kristie, you can never do enough….Don’t allow the work of God to come at the expense of being God’s person.” This hit home, again am I the person God wants me to be? Am I so full of Him that He spills over on those I am in contact with? Am I that living model of a woman passionate about my faith? Is my faith contagious? Do students want what I have or is it even evident that I have something that they should want? I know we need to keep striving to have more of God but I must admit that I am not maxed out.
• Two statements that keep resonating in my mind is 1: Doing God’s work isn’t as important as being God’s person; and 2: It is truly humbling to think about the awesome privilege and responsibility of being used by God.

My prayer is that I may be a healthy woman of God so that He can use me.